Thursday, March 4, 2021
He'll Wait With You
By Erin DuBroc
I'll cut straight to the chase here, church family. It feels pretty vulnerable to admit this, but I broke up with the Bible for a while recently. It was nothing particularly hostile, I had absolutely no qualms with hearing its words spoken in a sermon or Sunday School class, and I wasn't angry with God. I absolutely adore our church, and I remain confident about what I perceive is the book's overarching redemptive message: God's pursuit of our hearts no matter the circumstances never wears out. However, I was in the midst of feeling the need to relearn some aspects of the Christian faith and how best to live it out. Despite trusting the Bible does indeed provide ?reliable navigation? as our church professes, I was discouraged by how I saw it being used in society to fight culture wars and political battles. I also carried some deep scars from very conservative Bible study experiences in my past. When presented with what felt contradictory in scripture or triggering for me emotionally, I just couldn't move forward. I decided God would probably rather I revisit this particular spiritual discipline when it brought joy again, not frustration and pain. Deconstruction and reconstruction at my own pace was the season I was in, and I made peace with it.
I remember confiding in a friend that despite these mental and emotional blocks to engaging in what had always been a non-negotiable part of my faith practice, I was still actively connecting with God through prayer and other means. I sensed that He?d offered me an invitation to revisit the issue without a firm RSVP date, and I accepted. I needed to insulate for a bit, let old wounds fully heal, and be reminded of the basics of Christian faith without being distracted by the complexities of the Bible I always seemed to hone in on.
So, what happened? Healing came slowly but surely, and God never left. First, I embraced the notion that I don't have to have it all figured out. I came to the conclusion, in fact, that it's probably better if I don't ever think that I have. Rather, I'll let God continually reveal things throughout our lifelong conversation about the bits of text I still don't understand. I decided not to miss the forest for the trees, and I sensed God's reassurance that the burden would be light. After all, we see through a glass darkly.
Next, I simply started somewhere. Pushing analysis paralysis about where and how to start aside, I picked up copies of The Message and The Voice translations and began with the Gospels. I have found both translations very easy to understand and inspiring. I approached the practice with anticipatory excitement about what God could reveal that would bring healing, and that felt really good.
Most recently, God's healing work seemed to take a more direct form when I was asked to be a panelist for Tuesday night Bible Study (wait, who me?!) and, quite frankly, when I was invited to contribute to this Lenten devotional series. Despite my hiatus, I wasn't disqualified from being part of the family even in these ways, and that felt like a clear example of God's great faithfulness and unconditional love.
About the Author
Erin is a native Houstonian, married to Matt, and Mom to sons Everett (11), Bryce (7) and furry doodle daughter Sunny (2). She always has a project pending (knitting mostly), loves to travel anywhere with hills, and she cannot wait to share a meal with all of you around the tables of the Fellowship Hall one day soon.