Lenten Devotion, Tuesday, March 9, 2021: By Christian Bunte

Published March 9, 2021 by SMBC


Tuesday, March 9, 2021

Letting Go
By Christian Bunte

I?m a planner. And in 2017 I planned to get married and start a journey towards building a family. That is, until my then-girlfriend Nancy received an unusual phone call, ?Please come to the doctor's office for an immediate in-person consultation.?

After the initial formalities, the doctor confirmed our worst fears; Nancy has breast cancer. We sat in silence while life as we knew it slowly melted into a long list of appointments, chemotherapy, and surgery. Last week we were talking about where we wanted to settle down in 5 years. Today we could only see a few weeks into the future.

In the difficult months that followed, I found myself asking, ?Why us? Why now? Why would God give me this amazing woman only to take her away at the last moment??

Luckily, I had the support of friends and family to help me through it: ?I know she is a fighter and will make it through this!? Or ?You?re handling this so well; it's going to be tough but you both will be stronger after this!? While these words of encouragement provided reassurance and comfort, they didn't quell the persistent uncertainty that would haunt the foreseeable future.

Despite staying positive, giving my all, and receiving good news about Nancy's treatment, I was still hurting.

For me, true healing did not begin until I devoted more time to reading the Bible. A typical Sunday school answer, right? But in doing so I came to realize that only through the empty hands of faith can we accept the plans God has for us. The anxiety I felt was my unwillingness to let go of the life I had meticulously mapped out in order to fully step into the unknown life God had planned for me.

Romans 5:1-4 says, ?Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.?

Perhaps by planning so much I had lost sight of all the ways God impacts my everyday life. Through faith I recognized I was missing out on opportunities to enrich my spirit and the spirit of those around me today because I was worrying too much about tomorrow. I?m still getting the hang of living through faith, but it has provided a path to hope that I didn't see before adversity came knocking at the door.

About the Author
My name is Christian Bunte and I am a laboratory technician for Covestro. I have been a member of SMBC since January 2019 and am currently pursuing a masters degree in chemical engineering at UH. In my spare time, I enjoy international travel and hiking Texas trails with my wife, Nancy.