John of the Cross was a Carmelite monk from the sixteenth century best known for his reflections on spiritual formation. His book, Dark Night of the Soul, explores how our trials and struggles are an opportunity to be formed into people who understand and practice love for others and love for God. John of the Cross argues that this process of formation is how we experience union with God. Or, we might say that our trials are an opportunity to learn God’s heart more intimately.
Love, according to John of the Cross, is less a feeling and more the actions of our lives offered in relationship. Love is a choice and a behavior. John of the Cross outlines the stages of love’s formation in three movements. First, we begin by loving others and loving God for our own sake. In this movement, we learn how love offers us genuine joy. In this movement love is about what we receive. Then, if we continue to love, we learn to love for the other’s sake. As love forms in us, our life moves outward from the self toward willing and acting for the good of another. Love in this stage is not about what we receive but about seeking the good of another. Finally, when we persevere in enacting love we learn to love God for God’s sake alone. In this final movement of love’s formation in us, we learn to offer our lives to God and God’s purposes, regardless of what we receive in return.
Faithful action amidst our trials and struggles is necessary for love to form in us and through us. Such faithful action moves us away from what we believe we deserve, outward for another’s sake, and ultimately results in entrusting the self fully to God and God’s desires. This is no easy road when we find ourselves in the midst of trials, confusion, or pain.
Read Matthew 1:19-25. Can you imagine the confusion Joseph felt? The pain that bubbled up inside his heart? In quiet moments did Joseph cry out to God demanding what he was owed? As you read this text, can you see the three movements of love’s formation in Joseph’s life? Despite feeling the pain of possible betrayal, Joseph behaved himself toward the three movements of love’s formation in him and through him. Joseph acted for Mary’s good, and ultimately entrusted himself and his fledgling family to God for God’s sake and for God’s purposes in the world.
Joseph shows us that love is a family tradition to which each of us are called.
— Matt Walton,
Minister for Discipleship
